Navigating Perimenopause: My Journey from Age 30
Perimenopause—the time leading up to menopause—has long been thought of as something that only happens in a woman’s late 40s or early 50s. For me, it started at the age of 30. I'm not so surprised as I began my menstrual cycle at the young age of only 8 years old. That was a scary experience, and one I felt completely alone with. This time, I'll speak up about it if it means even one other woman doesn't feel so alone through the transition.
Over the last five years, I have been learning what it means to live through this transition. The symptoms I experienced were intense and varied, each one leaving me feeling uncertain, frustrated, and even scared. It was only this year that I started piecing all the symptoms together and a friend of mine who also happens to be an OBGYN explained that it was simply perimenopause, and it can last for over a decade.
Mood Swings: From Happy to Angry in Seconds
One of the most difficult things to deal with was my drastic mood swings. I would go from being absolutely fine to suddenly feeling angry or sad over nothing at all. It was exhausting—emotionally and mentally. I’ve always been a relatively even-tempered person, but during these years, I felt like I had no control over my emotions. One minute I’d be laughing with friends, and the next, I’d feel overwhelmed with irritability or deep sadness. Sometimes, the shifts were so abrupt that I’d wonder if I was losing my mind. I went off birth control thinking that was the cause of this madness.
Although it did help even out my mood, I soon began irregular periods.
Constant Spotting and Irregular Periods
I had always had a normal cycle, but after getting off the birth control, I experienced a constant spotting. This unpredictability was frustrating and sometimes quite embarrassing. What I didn’t realize at the time was that perimenopause often brings irregular periods and spotting due to hormonal fluctuations. This symptom put a serious damper on my sex life, and I felt that my husband and I were starting to drift farther apart because of it.
I tried multiple different birth controls and experienced pain during sex, low libido, and weight gain throughout the trial and error of figuring out the correct medications to get my cycle back to normal.
Chest Pain: A Scary Wake-Up Call
One of the most alarming symptoms was chest pain. For a while, I thought I might be having heart problems, but after tests and visits to several doctors, I was reassured that my heart was healthy. It turned out that chest pain during perimenopause is not uncommon, due to fluctuating hormones affecting the muscles and tissues in the chest. It was a frightening experience, and I had to learn how to manage the anxiety that came with it.
Tingles Down My Arms and Legs
Another symptom I didn’t expect was the strange tingling sensations down my arms and legs. It was as if my limbs would “fall asleep” without any warning, and the feeling would linger for far too long. It was uncomfortable and unnerving, making me wonder if something was physically wrong. My doctor explained that this symptom could be a result of fluctuating hormones, particularly estrogen, which can affect nerve function.
Memory Loss and Brain Fog
Memory loss. It wasn’t that I couldn’t remember anything, but I noticed myself forgetting small details more often. I’d forget appointments, lose my keys, or forget which step I was on at work. Tasks that used to come naturally were now a challenge, and I couldn’t understand why.
I was terrified that I had early onset Alzheimer's or else a brain tumor. I saw multiple dr's and had many tests run just to be told I was fine, but that I should start antidepression medication. Once again, hormonal fluctuations were to blame—estrogen affects brain function, and as it starts to decrease during perimenopause, it can lead to forgetfulness and mental fogginess.
The Dark Cloud of Deep Depression
Perhaps the most distressing symptom for me was the onset of deep depression. This wasn’t your everyday feeling of being “down” or sad; this was a profound sense of hopelessness that seemed to come out of nowhere. I realized I hadn't felt joy in years. I’ve always had a healthy outlook on life, but perimenopause made me feel as if I was living in a shadow that I couldn’t escape. I accepted that I needed help, even though I was doing everything right (eating healthy, meditation, exercise, setting and achieving goals).
This was a long journey as medications can take up to 3 months to fully kick in. To find the right dosages and medications I dedicated a year, and it was a relief to finally get out of my own way to grasp happiness. I dove in deep to understand what and why this was happening, as well as get a better idea of the different types of medications that are available. The Huberman Lab Podcast definitely helped educate me on the subject.
https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/understanding-and-conquering-depression
Dry Eyes and Short Spurts of Blindness
One of the first signs that something was off was the dryness in my eyes. At first, it was just occasional discomfort, but soon it became unbearable. I would find myself blinking incessantly, trying to rehydrate my eyes, only to experience fleeting periods of near-blindness. It felt as if my vision would cloud over for a few seconds, then clear up just as suddenly. It was a terrifying experience and a symptom that none of the usual explanations seemed to cover. My eye dr prescribed a medication to help with the dryness and eventually the symptoms subsided.
I later learned after watching an episode on Oprah that aired on ABC that hormonal shifts, particularly a drop in estrogen, can contribute to dry eyes and blurred vision—something I now realize is more common in perimenopausal women than I initially thought. Thanks, Halle Berry, for letting me know.
Acceptance of the Journey
Looking back, it’s hard to believe how much my body has changed in just a few short years. These symptoms were not easy to deal with, and at times, they left me questioning what was happening to my body. But as I’ve learned more about perimenopause, I’ve come to understand that this is a natural transition—though not always an easy one.
Perimenopause is a reminder that women’s health is complex and that our bodies don’t stop changing. If you’re experiencing any of these symptoms, know that you’re not alone. It’s essential to seek support, whether it’s from your doctor, a therapist, or a trusted friend. Together, we can normalize the conversation around perimenopause and ensure that every woman gets the care and understanding she deserves during this time.
As I continue on my journey, I’m learning to be kinder to myself, to embrace the changes, and to advocate for my health. Perimenopause may not always be easy, but it’s a reminder of how strong I am, even in the face of uncertainty.
For me this was the time in my life when I finally had to take care of myself first. If my needs aren't meant I begin to see the ripple effect of the lives I touch. I finally am starting to understand the importance of my happiness, and the positive impact it has on the world.
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